I wanted to take a little time to describe to you what I have experienced as the worst injustices anyone could inflict upon a baby. Ever. While I have noticed many, I have compiled a 5-item list of what I feel are by far the worst.
#5. Tummy time. There has to be a better way to increase my neck and back strength. 
#4. The expectation that I should be able to hold the pacifier in my mouth all on my own. Honestly, is it too much to ask for that someone hold it there for me? How is it expected to stay there otherwise?
#3. Bath time. While I don't require alot of baths right now (only 2 or 3 a week), it qualifies as one of the worst things ever in spite of the relative infrequency. Note that my attempts to complain are being ignored, as the bath continues despite persistent crying. 
#2. Hunger. Who in the world thought that cutting the cord was a good idea? Ever 2-3 hours, I feel hungry, cry, and get fed. Why, oh why, can I not just feel satiated all the time?
#1. Chest time with Daddy. Truly the worst of the worst, laying on Daddy's chest is the ultimate torture for babies. Where are the breasts? Why is there no milk? It's the right area of the body, yet nothing. I cannot be expected to be content on this chest of emptiness; this is psychological torture that even GWBush and his cronies would not support.
1 comment:
Paige - you are just as witty as your mommy. Can't wait to hear all about your adventures.
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